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  • Rob Marrs

Tae a Virus

Updated: Mar 23, 2020

A defiant coronavirus poem written in the style of Burns has emerged online and it would be rude not to share it. An expanded version sent courtesy of PP Fraser Fowlie. I am told it was authored by a Willie Sinclair.

Twa months ago, we didna ken,

yer name or ocht aboot ye;

But lots of things have changed since then,

I really must salute ye.

Yer spreading rate is quite intense,

Yer feeding like a gannet;

Disruption caused, is so immense,

Ye’ve shaken oor wee planet.

Corona used tae be a beer,

They garnished it wae limes;

But noo it’s filled us a' wae fear,

These days are scary times.

Nae shakin hawns, or peckin lips,

It’s whit they a' advise;

But scrub them weel, richt tae the tips,

That’s how we’ll a' survive.

Just stay inside, the hoose, ye bide,

Nae sneakin' oot for strolls;

Just check the lavvy every hoor,

And stock-take your loo rolls.

Our holidays have been pit aff,

Noo that’s the Jet2 patter;

Pit oan yer thermals, have a laugh,

And paddle ‘ doon the waater. ‘

Canary isles, no for a while,

Nae need for suntan cream;

And a' because o' this wee bug,

We ken tae be..19.

The boredom surely will set in,

But have a read, or doodle;

Or plan yer menu for the month,

Wi' 95 pot noodles.

When these run oot, just look aboot,

A change, it would be nice;

We’ve beans and pasta by the ton,

And twenty stane o rice.

So dinny think yell wipe us oot,

Aye true, a few have died;

Bubonic, bird flu, and Tb

They came, they left, they tried.

Ye might be gallus noo ma freen,

As ye jump fae cup tae cup;

But when we get oor vaccine made,

Yer number will be up

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